


Make A Wish (Nectar)

by bunseok



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Awkward Crush, Blow Jobs, Bottom Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun, Coming Out, Deepthroating, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Hook-Up, Internal Conflict, Internalized Homophobia, Kinda, M/M, Prostate Massage, Prostate Milking, kind of????, okay i know this pairing is really out there but just give me a chance lmao, taeyong is a good hyung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:48:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27019804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunseok/pseuds/bunseok
Summary: “I thought,” Dejun spluttered, light-headed arousal throwing his filter out the window, “I thought you were just gonna rail me and be done.”Taeyong smiled as he pressed his lips against Dejun's body. “Not my style.”---In which Dejun may or may not have a small crush, and things quickly get out of hand.
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun
Comments: 30
Kudos: 241





	Make A Wish (Nectar)

**Author's Note:**

> yeah i dont know either
> 
> i saw a couple ppl on twitter point out how dejun would stare so admiringly at taeyong during some of the recent livestreams, and for some reason i decided i needed to write 6k about that.
> 
> ive always sort of wanted to be the first to post a fic for any given ship, so this is kinda exciting lmao. maybe in the future this pairing will somehow blow up and ill be regarded in ncity as some sort of xiaoyong prophet. only time will tell

“It’s so cool that you got to film a video like this,” Yangyang sighed, holding his phone two inches from his face as he lay his head on the arm rest of the living room couch. His feet were resting on Dejun’s lap, who sighed despondently.

“Stop watching that, it’s embarrassing,” Dejun said, nudging Yangyang’s feet to get his attention.

Yangyang just shifted so his legs were resting more heavily on Dejun, right as he tapped the replay button to watch NCT U’s new music video again.

“So cool,” Yangyang said again. “Your clothes look really cool.”

Dejun groaned and tried to focus on the show playing on the television, but the sounds of his own voice from Yangyang’s phone were far too distracting. He felt his irritation growing, and he prepared to shove Yangyang’s feet away and retreat into his bedroom, right before Yangyang raised a terrible question.

“What was it like filming with Taeyong?”

Dejun was glad Yangyang couldn’t see his face, the way it flushed obnoxiously at the thought of Taeyong. “It was fine,” He grunted.

Yangyang immediately lifted his head to look at Dejun, and Dejun gritted his teeth and kept his eyes on the TV.

“Why’d you say it like that?” Yangyang asked.

“I didn’t say it like anything,” Dejun said, which was the most normal sounding response he could come up with, apparently.

“Are you--” Yangyang scrambled to sit up on the couch and look at Dejun more clearly.

Dejun rolled his eyes to try to conceal the feeling of his heart dropping to his feet.

“You’re blushing!” Yangyang’s grin was huge and glaring, and Dejun looked the other direction. “I asked about Taeyong and you started blushing!”

Dejun curled his lip as he squinted at Yangyang. “What?”

“Oh wow, this is awesome,” Yangyang giggled, clearly getting way too much joy out of Dejun’s suffering. “You should ask him to kiss you. I bet he would.”

“The hell are you talking about?” Dejun snapped, shoving Yangyang’s shoulders, but he could feel his stupid face heating up further and he knew Yangyang noticed.

“What kind of crush is it? Is it like… Is it like, _I wanna marry you and have your babies_ , or is it like _please god have my babies_?”

“Uh--” Dejun failed to come up with any words that could match what Yangyang had just said. “...Babies?”

“Which one?” Yangyang demanded.

Dejun raised his hands in defense as if Yangyang was about to just start wailing on him. “I don’t know, okay?” He froze. “Wait, what? No, no I _don’t_ have a crush on him! I have no idea what you’re talking about, just leave me alone.”

Yangyang jabbed him with a finger. “You literally _just_ admitted to it. Come on, tell me what kind of crush it is!”

“This is stupid,” Dejun spat. He felt like some middle school girl, what with this interrogation, and he didn’t much care for it. “It doesn’t even matter, anyways.”

Dejun expected Yangyang to back off after that, but it somehow only fired him up further.

“Yes it does!” Yangyang insisted, “Because if it’s just horny, then you could actually do something about it!”

That was enough to give Dejun pause. He slowly lowered his hands and squinted at Yangyang. “What?”

“Come on, it’s basic math. Or something. Like you obviously couldn’t have a relationship with Taeyong--”

“Obviously.”

“--But nothing’s stopping you from, like, hooking up!”

“Wh--” Dejun sputtered. “Yes, there is!”

“Like what?” Yangyang demanded.

“Uh-- Well, for one...” Dejun paused and let his words hang in the air, hoping Yangyang would understand what he didn’t want to say. Yangyang just blinked at him silently, clearly picking up zero telepathic messages, and Dejun sighed. “He’s a dude.”

Yangyang just blinked again. “Yeah, obviously.”

Dejun raised his eyebrows and gestured very slowly towards himself. “And so am I.”

Yangyang mirrored his raised eyebrows and leaned towards him slowly. “I noticed.”

Dejun groaned. “You don’t get it. Whatever, just forget it.”

“Xiao De Jun, are you saying guys can’t do stuff together?”

Dejun glared at him.

“Because that’s not what you seemed to think when you and Kunhang--”

“That was _different_ !” Dejun exploded, and the sudden venom in his voice finally made Yangyang shut up. “That wasn’t _sex_!”

Yangyang, with his mouth closed for once in his life, stared at Dejun. Dejun glared daggers back at him, until his anger subsided and he deflated into the couch.

“Fine, whatever, let’s say it _would_ be fine for me to do that with a man. I still couldn’t with Taeyong.”

“Uh… Why?”

“Because… Well, he’s NCT, and I am too…” He sighed. “That’s like… What’s the word? A conflict of interest, or something.”

“Um. Dejun.” Yangyang cleared his throat. “Are you saying you think members of the same group shouldn’t sleep together?”

On the other side of the room, Kunhang laughed.

Dejun stiffened, and immediately spun around to see Kunhang sitting at the dining room table. “How long have you been there?”

With the perfectly horrible timing of Satan himself, Ten emerged from the hallway. “What are you guys talking about?”

“Ten,” Yangyang said, as Ten moved into the living room, “You have Taeyong’s phone number right?”

“Yeah, obviously. Why on earth would I not have--”

“Dejun wants to ask you a question.”

Dejun glared at Yangyang, who just glanced pointedly between him and Ten. He begrudgingly turned towards Ten, who was standing in the middle of the living room, staring at the two of them.

“What is happening?” Ten said sharply.

“Um…” Dejun cleared his throat and looked away. “Can you give me Taeyong’s number?”

“Oh.” Ten went over to the couch and flopped down between Dejun and Yangyang. He pulled out his phone. “Why, you wanna fuck him?”

Dejun bristled. He sat up straight and planted his hands on the back and arm rest of the couch as if he would have to jump up and fight for his life, while Yangyang immediately burst out laughing. Ten froze, then snapped his gaze over to Dejun, his eyes gigantic.

“Wait, do you really?” Ten cried, aghast. “I said that as a joke!”

“I guess,” Dejun said, trying to retract into his shirt like a turtle, his face in flames.

Once the initial shock subsided, Ten quickly melted into a disgusting, cooing mess. “Aww, my baby!” He put his hands on Dejun’s cheeks, despite Dejun’s best efforts to disappear his face into his body. “That’s so cute, baby has a little crush!”

Dejun started to protest, then Ten paused.

“Wait, how would that work?” Ten asked. Dejun blinked at him with confusion, and Ten smiled back, his eyes curving into deviously mischievous crescents. “You _do_ know he’s a bottom, right?”

Dejun grimaced like he had stepped on a nail. He was pretty sure you could cook an egg on his painfully heated face.

Ten shrugged. “Eh, I’m sure you could figure it out.” He clapped his hands with glee and did a ridiculous little bounce. “This is so exciting! I can’t wait to hear about how he rejects you!”

“Shut-- Huh?”

“Huh?” Yangyang leaned forward too, looking just as dumbfounded as Dejun felt.

“Oh, honeys,” Ten said, glancing with pity between the two of them. “Dejun, you’re cute, but you’re not exactly Taeyong’s… Type.”

“Wh…” Dejun blinked, feeling his embarrassment fizzle into a completely different kind of shame. “What _is_ his type?”

“Um, where do I begin,” Ten said bluntly, “Tall guys with muscles and a big dick, basically. Now I’m not sure about that last one for you, but…” Ten’s gaze went up and down Dejun’s body. “...Well.”

Dejun sank into the couch, hands attempting to cover his pitifully muscle-free arms.

“Sorry,” Ten said simply.

Dejun said nothing, just silently prayed to be a turtle. He could feel Yangyang’s concerned gaze on him, but he ignored him.

“So there’s _no_ way Taeyong would want to hook up with Dejun?” Yangyang asked.

Dejun groaned. “Just drop it, man.”

“I don’t know,” Ten said, reclining on the couch as he checked some messages on his phone. “I guess it’s possible.”

“That’s good! Dejun, you hear that? It’s possible!”

“Seriously, just drop it.”

The three of them fell silent for a while, Ten peacefully scrolling through his phone as if he hadn’t just ruined Dejun’s life.

“Oh my god, your sulking is really starting to taint my aura now,” Ten moaned. He put his phone down and turned to Dejun, who was curled up in the couch corner like an abandoned puppy. “Okay, listen. You’re not his type, and I have no idea how the two of you would even work in the first place, but I’m not saying you have zero chance. I guess.”

“Okay,” Dejun sulked.

“Jeez, I didn’t think you would care so much about this. Why are you so upset?”

Dejun shrugged. “Yangyang got my hopes up.”

Ten laid his hand on Dejun’s arm and nodded sympathetically. “Yeah, Yangyang ruins everything.” Yangyang burst out in protest, but Ten just shushed him gently. “Listen, if you really want to try to fuck my friend, I’m in no position to stop you. You want something, just go for it. But I’m not gonna play matchmaker. You want his number, ask him directly. You need his dick so badly that you’ll fall into a deep depression if you go another day without it, tell him yourself.”

Dejun raised his head slightly from his bubble of self pity. That was the first mildly reasonable thing he had heard since this whole debacle started.

“Okay,” Dejun said tentatively.

“Great!” Ten smiled. “Now get the fuck up, I’m pretty sure you’ve been sitting on the remote this entire god damn time.”

* * *

At their next dance practice, the only thing Dejun could think of was how to smoothly obtain Taeyong’s number without making his intentions too obvious. But also he _did_ want to make his intentions obvious, because otherwise Taeyong would have no idea what Dejun wanted, and then it would never happen, and then--

“Xiaojun!” Taeyong barked. “You missed that step again.”

Dejun stiffened. “Sorry,” He called back timidly.

Taeyong made eye contact with Dejun through the mirror, and Dejun looked away towards the reflection of himself. Immediately displeased with what he saw there, he cast his eyes instead to the floor.

“Take five,” Taeyong announced, and the rest of the group all sighed and wandered towards their bags to grab water.

Dejun hung where he stood, anxiety building as he watched Taeyong approach him from his peripheral.

“Xiaojun,” Taeyong said softly. “Everything okay?”

“Uh-- Yeah,” Dejun spluttered. He looked up to see Taeyong gazing at him gently.

“I can tell something’s on your mind.”

“Sorry. It’s nothing.”

“Well, it’s not nothing if it’s going to be interfering with your dancing.” Taeyong said this gently, but Dejun could sense the seriousness behind it.

Dejun just frowned at him, unable to come up with an excuse. “Sorry,” He said again. “It won’t happen again.”

Taeyong smiled ever so softly at him. Dejun tried not to look at the sweat plastered to the exposed part of his chest, or the way his chest heaved slightly from the strenuous practices.

“Listen, I know we don’t know each other that well, but if you ever need to talk about something--”

“Can I have your number?” Dejun blurted. Taeyong blinked. “Uh… I just realized I still don’t have your number. Can I… Can I have it?”

Taeyong looked at him for a second, perhaps studying him, and Dejun tried his best to look like a normal human being.

“Sure, hand me your phone and I’ll put my number in,” Taeyong said with a small smile.

“Okay!” Dejun said, far too eager as he scrambled towards his bag in the corner and retrieved his phone.

Within moments, Taeyong was tapping his long-desired phone number into Dejun’s contacts. Taeyong handed it back with a smile, and Dejun hurriedly checked it to find that Taeyong had listed his name with a little kissing emoji beside it.

Dejun flushed. “Thank you,” He said in a small voice, no longer able to meet Taeyong’s eye.

This all did nothing to clear Dejun’s head, and he flubbed the entire rest of the practice, but at least he was happy.

* * *

Taeyong had been sitting next to Dejun for the past forty five minutes, and Dejun hadn’t looked at him once. Dejun was rigid as a board, hands planted on his knees as he sat, staring at the floor. Taeyong had been making light conversation with other members of WayV as they filed in and out of the living room throughout the evening, and Dejun managed to add his occasional commentary, but nothing directed specifically towards Taeyong. Now that the other members were gone, and there was nothing to distract from the glaring silence between the two of them, Dejun began to wonder how painful it would be to crack his head open on the coffee table in front of him. Probably less painful than whatever _this_ was.

“Um… Xiaojun,” Taeyong said tentatively.

Dejun tilted his head ever so slightly towards Taeyong, his eyes still trained on the floor. “Yes?”

“Was there anything you, uh… Wanted to do?”

“What?” Dejun blurted out, finally turning to look at Taeyong, a sharp blush rapidly filling his cheeks.

Taeyong seemed taken aback, then he smiled. “I mean, I assumed you had some sort of activities planned when you invited me here. Like maybe food, or a game, or… A conversation, at least.”

“Oh, uh…” Dejun shook his head. “Sorry. I’m just… Kinda tired tonight, I’m not all there.”

Taeyong’s eyes were far too scrutinizing as he peered at Dejun, and it made Dejun squirm. Taeyong’s smile slowly faded, then he giggled and looked down.

“Xiaojun,” Taeyong started.

“I’m sorry,” Dejun said abruptly, “This was really stupid of me. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m really sorry for wasting your time. You can, uh,” He swallowed the shame building in his chest, “You can just go home if you want.”

Taeyong just giggled again. Dejun lifted his head from where it had been hanging with shame to blink at Taeyong with confusion.

“I hope you’re smoother with girls,” Taeyong said, a light teasing lilt to his voice.

Dejun flushed. “Huh?”

“It’s okay, I was like this too when I was your age. It gets easier over time.”

Dejun spluttered, “It does? What does?”

Taeyong chuckled. “You’re cute.”

“Um.”

“Xiaojun.”

Taeyong shifted a little closer on the couch, his arm slung over the back as he faced Dejun. This made his shirt ride up a little on the side, and Dejun’s gaze flicked down just long enough to process the sharp v-line of Taeyong’s hips. Dejun licked his lips, then immediately bristled when he realized what he just did. Taeyong just giggled and shifted closer.

“Have you ever been with a boy before?”

Dumbstruck, Dejun shook his head. He expected Taeyong to tease him, but he was instead met with kind eyes and a gentle smile.

“Can I do this?” Taeyong asked, his hand hovering over Dejun’s pants.

“Wait,” Dejun said breathily, and Taeyong immediately retracted his hand. “Is this really happening?”

“If you want it to,” Taeyong said, his voice a sensitive hush.

Dejun swallowed. He felt dizzy. “Right here?”

“We can move if you want.”

“Um… Yeah, my-- My bed, please.”

Taeyong stood up quickly, and Dejun followed on slightly shaky legs. They started to move towards the hall, then Taeyong stopped and went quickly towards the kitchen. Dejun stayed where he was, struggling to process what was currently happening, until Taeyong returned with two water bottles and they headed down the hall into Dejun’s room.

When they entered, Yangyang was on his own bed on the other side of the room, and Dejun’s brain completely short circuited.

“Hi Yangyang,” Taeyong said breezily. “Xiaojun and I are going to talk about some stuff regarding our performances, is it okay if we have the room?”

Yangyang blinked dumbly at the two of them. He nodded and climbed out of bed, making prolonged eye contact with Dejun as he passed him on his way out the door. Dejun was certain Yangyang could see the terror in his eyes, but Yangyang said nothing.

“There we go,” Taeyong said cheerily once the door was closed and locked, “Nice and private.” He turned to smile at Dejun, then paused. “Do you still want to go through with this?”

Dejun still wasn’t quite sure what _this_ was, but he nodded.

“Okay,” Taeyong said as he placed the water bottles on the desk closest to him. “Which bed is yours?”

Dejun pointed, and they sat down together.

“Okay, first things first, you need to relax.” Taeyong put his hands on Dejun’s shoulders and ran them up and down his arms. “Is this okay?”

Dejun nodded. Through the thick layer of panic and confusion, Dejun was already getting painfully horny from nothing but Taeyong’s hands on his skin.

“Deep breaths,” Taeyong said. “Can you look at me? Let’s breathe together.”

Dejun held Taeyong’s kind gaze as he was led through a few guided breathing techniques.

“I didn’t expect you to be so gentle,” Dejun said, then he cringed. Why would he say something like that?

But Taeyong seemed to like it, as his smile grew. “I just want you to be comfortable. You seem terrified right now, are you sure you’re okay with this?”

Dejun nodded. “I’m okay. Sorry.”

Taeyong shook his head softly. “Don’t apologize.”

Dejun wasn’t sure he had ever been handled so gently in his life.

“Maybe you’ll relax once we get started. Does that sound good? Are you ready to start?”

“Wh… What are we starting, exactly?”

“I like to start things off with oral,” Taeyong said, far too casual for the subject matter. “Have you ever sucked dick?”

“N… Not really.”

“Ever been on the other end?”

Dejun grimaced. “No.”

Taeyong beamed. “Great, then I get to teach you!”

Taeyong carefully guided Dejun onto his back, laying with half his body propped up on the pillows to give him a clear view of the action. Once Dejun was situated, Taeyong crawled down to Dejun’s waist. He put his hands on Dejun’s hips, then blinked up at him.

“Still good?”

Dejun nodded.

“Tell me if you want to stop at any point.”

Taeyong started to pull at Dejun’s pants, then he stopped. He scrunched his face at Dejun with a smile.

“Wait, I’m sorry, I think I know the answer to this but I still need to ask. Are you tested?”

“Oh, uh--” Dejun cleared his throat and nodded emphatically. “Yeah. I’m clean.”

“Okay good.” Taeyong started to tug at Dejun’s waistband. “I am too, by the way.”

“Great,” Dejun said, his voice strained.

“You wanna get the lube for me, Xiaojun?” Taeyong asked.

Dejun’s hand patted frantically around his nightstand until he found the little packet of flavoured lube that Ten had grabbed from a health clinic a while ago. Taeyong squinted at it as Dejun handed it to him, then giggled.

“You should invest in more lube, I think,” Taeyong said lightly.

“I usually use, uh, lotion-- But my friend said you can’t use that with other people.”

Taeyong laughed, a bright, bubbly chuckle that helped ease some of the tension from Dejun’s body.

“This will work for now, I think,” Taeyong said. “Ready to go?”

“Uh huh.”

“Lift your hips a little bit, please.”

Finally, Taeyong pulled Dejun’s pants and boxers low enough to free his length. Dejun’s skin immediately started to prickle as he watched the way Taeyong eyed it. He found himself holding his breath without realizing as he waited for some sort of comment.

“Nice,” Taeyong said simply, and he ripped the lube packet open with his teeth.

Dejun deflated slightly. At least it wasn’t an insult, or something patronizing like “cute.”

Taeyong emptied half the packet’s content onto his hand, then frowned at the remaining. “I wanna save this, but if I put it down it’ll spill.”

“Here,” Dejun took the packet and balanced it precariously against the base of the lamp on his nightstand. “That should stay.”

Taeyong smiled, and Dejun smiled nervously back. Taeyong gathered some friction between his hands, spreading the lube, then took a gentle hold of Dejun’s cock. Dejun immediately gasped, and Taeyong glanced at him.

“How’s this?” Taeyong asked, slowly dragging his hand up and down.

Dejun gawked at the sight of his cock in another man’s hand, in _Taeyong’s_ hand. He gritted his teeth and nodded, grunting when Taeyong added a slight twist of his wrist to his strokes.

“Relax,” Taeyong breathed. His thumb swiped over the head, which made Dejun’s hips jerk. He brought his hand down to the base and just twisted his wrist a few times, then went back up to the head, dragging his palm over it with a half-closed fist. It was all so slow, so incredibly deliberate and sensitive-- A far cry from the clumsy, erratic pumps that Dejun would always default to whenever he needed to rub one out.

“Alright,” Taeyong murmured, “You’re doing so well. Ready to go further?”

“Yeah,” Dejun said breathlessly. “Thank you.”

Taeyong smiled, then adjusted so his face was inches from Dejun’s slicked, hard length. He blinked up at Dejun, then parted his lips and planted them right at the tip of his cock. His tongue flicked out, licking up the precum dribbling out the tip, then he moved a little further down. His lips closed around the head, tongue swirling. He moved a little lower, taking more cock into his mouth, and Dejun groaned at the feeling of his sensitive member resting so heavily against Taeyong’s tongue. It was all so _warm_ , and _wet_ , and Dejun wondered why he was surprised by this. Then Taeyong went even further down, and all thoughts flew out of Dejun’s mind. He kept moving more, taking more and more of Dejun’s length into his mouth, until he was all the way at the base and Dejun’s cock was tickling the back of his throat.

Dejun didn’t know a whole lot about blowjobs, but he knew that thrusting his hips forward at this particular moment would be _bad_. It was taking a tremendous amount of self control to keep the overwhelming waves of pleasure from forcing his hips up, and his hands gripped the bedsheets with such force that his knuckles were surely turning white.

Then Taeyong began to bob his head. The wet sounds were disgustingly depraved as Dejun’s cock fucked Taeyong’s throat. Dejun felt like the room was spinning. Taeyong put his hand at the base as he bobbed, twisting his wrist back and forth and sending Dejun into the stratosphere.

Taeyong pulled off, lips separating from the tip with a wet pop, and smiled up at Dejun.

“Feeling good?” Taeyong asked.

Dejun nodded, struggling to ground himself. It was barely processing that he had Lee Taeyong in his bed, Lee Taeyong’s mouth on his cock, Lee Taeyong now gently stroking Dejun’s dick as he prepared to go back down on him. How the hell had this even happened?

“You make the cutest noises,” Taeyong said with a small giggle.

Dejun flushed. “Huh?”

“You can be louder if you want.” Taeyong licked at Dejun’s head, then paused. “Oh yeah, I wanted to ask. Was that lube flavoured?”

“Um.” Dejun swallowed, attempting to connect two brain cells long enough to think about anything that didn’t directly involve Taeyong’s tongue on his cock. “Oh, yeah. Strawberry, I think.”

Taeyong hummed thoughtfully, then laughed. Dejun smiled weakly.

“You’re doing so well, Xiaojun-ah,” Taeyong said softly, blinking up at Dejun with warm, kind eyes.

Dejun just bit his lip and nodded, a small grunt slipping from his throat when Taeyong’s hand around his length moved a bit.

Taeyong held his gaze as he opened his mouth and took Dejun back into his throat. He bobbed and deepthroated for a while, then pulled off to press open mouthed kisses along the side of Dejun’s member. Dejun had no idea a blowjob could be so complex, or so tender.

“I thought,” Dejun spluttered, light-headed arousal throwing his filter out the window, “I thought you were just gonna rail me and be done.”

Taeyong smiled as he pressed his lips against the side of Dejun’s base. “Not my style.”

Taeyong closed his lips around the tip and sucked, his cheeks hollowing out. Dejun’s hips jerked forward involuntarily, but Taeyong took it easily.

“You’re lasting much longer that I expected,” Taeyong commented after another round of deepthroating. “Most boys like you don’t even make it past the five minute mark.”

“Boys like me?”

“Do you think you’ll come soon?”

“Um.” Dejun felt like he had been teetering on the edge for hours. “Maybe.”

Dejun didn’t think he was ever one for stamina. He wasn’t sure what was different this time, but at least it meant he got to spend more time with Taeyong’s lips around his cock.

“I think there’s something holding me back.”

Taeyong hummed and nodded like he expected Dejun to say this. “You’re still so tense. We need to get you to relax.”

Taeyong pulled Dejun’s pants all the way off and discarded them onto the floor, and Dejun’s skin tingled with the sudden exposure. Taeyong’s hands kneaded Dejun’s thighs gently, palms sliding over the smooth skin.

“Spread a bit more?” Taeyong murmured. Dejun quickly complied.

Taeyong continued to massage him, occasionally muttering soft assurances, then he tilted his head thoughtfully.

“Did you say you wanted me to rail you?”

Dejun’s breath caught in his throat. He nodded.

“Hmm. Okay.” Taeyong gently stroked Dejun’s cock as he considered. “Did you clean yourself out?”

“What?”

Taeyong frowned. “No?”

Dejun shrank. Was there something else he was supposed to do?

“Well, did you at least shower recently?”

Dejun nodded. “Right before you got here.”

“Good boy.”

Dejun’s cock twitched, and Taeyong’s gaze quickly flicked towards the movement before he smiled.

“No railing for you tonight, Xiaojun, but we can do something else.”

“Okay?”

“Do you wanna turn over on your stomach for me?”

Dejun complied, chest pounding as he exposed his ass to Taeyong.

“Beautiful,” Taeyong said, and Dejun decided he liked that word more than “nice.”

Taeyong’s slender fingers tickled Dejun’s skin as they rested on his hips.

“Here, open your knees a bit, lift your hips, and arch your back.”

Dejun did so.

“Arch your back the other way, love.”

Dejun snorted, embarrassed, as he curved his spine downwards. Yeah, this way made a lot more sense.

He looked over his shoulder to see Taeyong retrieving the half empty lube packet from the nightstand and spreading the slippery liquid between his fingers.

“Okay, take a deep breath, and just relax.”

Taeyong’s fingers prodded his rim, and Dejun shivered.

“Oh,” Dejun said, shoulders tensing up, “That feels weird.”

Taeyong circled the pads of his fingers around the rim, his other hand rubbing Dejun’s back. “Relax, relax. Let me do all the work.”

Dejun did his best to relax into the mattress, his chest heaving slightly. He had only tried fingering himself once before, and it was such a shockingly strange sensation that he never bothered to try again. There was also the added shame of being a man who put his own fingers in his ass, but that seemed less relevant now that Taeyong, the manly man of NCT, was the one touching Dejun’s ass like it was nothing.

Now Taeyong was using his free hand to knead Dejun’s ass, gently pushing and pulling as his fingers got more adventurous.

“Not quite enough lube,” Dejun heard Taeyong mutter. “Xiaojun, is it okay if I spit on you?”

“Wh--” Dejun blinked. “Yes?”

He heard Taeyong gather up saliva, and then Taeyong spat and moved his hand back to Dejun’s hole. There was something weirdly arousing about what just happened, and Dejun didn’t understand why he moaned and rocked his hips forwards when he thought about it.

“Okay, I’m gonna go in now,” Taeyong warned gently. “You’re doing great, just relax.”

Dejun felt one finger push in, and he made a staggered groan at the new feeling. Taeyong’s finger explored Dejun’s walls carefully.

“Does this hurt?”

“No,” Dejun spluttered. “Feels good.”

“Good. Tell me if it hurts at any point.”

Eventually Taeyong moved on to two fingers, pushing in and out shallowly.

“Can I go a little deeper?”

“Uh huh.”

Taeyong’s two fingers pushed further, and Dejun tried to reconcile the fact that part of Taeyong’s body was literally inside of Dejun right now. He started to get inside his own head, thinking about what this meant for Dejun and his masculinity, and what things would be like between he and Taeyong after tonight, and how he was going to look anyone else in the eye after this, and--

Then Taeyong brushed against his prostate, and Dejun immediately cried out and clutched his pillows desperately, hips pushing back hungrily for more.

Taeyong laughed softly. “How’s that?”

“That’s-- That’s good,” Dejun babbled, unsure what to do with any parts of his body as this electric pleasure crackled through him. He whimpered when Taeyong’s fingers moved away from that spot, then moaned like a whore when Taeyong found his way back onto his prostate.

“Just relax, let yourself feel it,” Taeyong said gently, but Dejun whined thinly.

“I can’t,” He whimpered, “I-- I can’t relax, it-- _Fuck_ \--” He exhaled heavily. “Feels so good--”

“Are you gonna come?”

“I don’t know, I-- Oh my _god_ \--”

“Want me to slow down?”

“ _No_ ,” Dejun cried, “Don’t-- Don’t stop, want more…”

Taeyong, with his fingers still dutifully milking Dejun’s prostate, moved so he was straddling one of Dejun’s legs, bringing their bodies much closer together. He leaned forward, one hand planted on the mattress close to Dejun’s shoulder, his body hovering over Dejun’s so he could speak closer to Dejun’s ear. He murmured gentle praises, but Dejun could barely process them past this overwhelming pleasure.

Dejun moved his hips back so his thighs were touching Taeyong’s, and he could feel the hardness pressing from underneath Taeyong’s pants. God, Dejun wanted to be fucked so bad. He had no fucking idea it was possible to feel this good.

Then Taeyong leaned back and reached underneath Dejun’s hips to gently grasp his weeping cock. A few tugs, a few swipes of his thumb over the sensitive head, and Dejun knew it was over.

Dejun came right there on Taeyong’s hand, with Taeyong’s other hand still steadily massaging his prostate. The intensity of his orgasm sent powerful shivers down his spine, and he cried out desperately into his pillow. Taeyong kept going as if nothing had changed, stroking and milking him through his entire climax, and Dejun was pretty sure he managed to achieve a world record for longest orgasm ever.

It wasn’t until Dejun finally fell still that Taeyong let up with his god-given hands. His fingers slipped out of Dejun’s ass, leaving him feeling strangely empty, as Dejun lay a deflated mess on the mattress. Taeyong said nothing as Dejun caught his breath, just rubbed his back assuringly.

Dejun blinked a few times, finally coming down from heaven.

What the hell just happened.

“Wow,” He said shakily.

“How are you feeling?” Taeyong asked softly.

Dejun licked his lips, deliberating. Taeyong’s hand rubbing circles in his back was the only thing keeping him from floating out the window and straight into the sun.

“Can you sit up?”

Dejun nodded and sat up slowly, Taeyong’s hands on his shoulders to steady him. Taeyong leaned down and looked him in the eye, seemingly concerned, until he broke into a wide smile.

“Did you have fun?”

Dejun smiled weakly. “Mm hm.”

Taeyong swiped his thumb over Dejun’s cheek affectionately. “I’m gonna go wash my hands really quick, will you be okay if I leave you for just a minute?”

Dejun nodded.

Taeyong got up and made his way to the other side of the room. He came back and handed Dejun one of the water bottles that he had grabbed earlier, and Dejun thanked him quietly as Taeyong left.

Dejun sipped quietly while he waited for Taeyong to come back. His soul was gradually returning to his body, and with it came the horrifying realization of what he had just done.

Another man had fingered his ass until he orgasmed.

He took one of his blankets and covered himself from the waist down.

Taeyong returned soon enough, and he got his own water bottle and sat down beside Dejun.

“Xiaojun’s a little cum drunk!” Taeyong said with a giggle as he ruffled Dejun’s hair.

Dejun blinked up at him. “What?”

“You seemed really blown away,” Taeyong said, the affection in his eyes too much for Dejun to bear. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

Dejun blushed and looked away. “I guess,” He mumbled.

“Hey, be proud! This was your first time with a man, right?”

“Mm.”

“That’s a beautiful thing! I love that I got to be your first time. You’re adorable.”

Dejun blinked. “You what? I’m what? Huh?”

Taeyong giggled again. “Cute,” He said warmly.

Dejun furrowed his brow and took a long sip of his water.

“Hey, but seriously, how are you feeling? Do you feel good about what just happened?”

Dejun paused as he considered this question. The most honest response he could muster was a nondescript shrug.

Taeyong regarded him carefully, then clicked his tongue. He turned to look Dejun squarely in the face, and put his hands on Dejun’s shoulders. Dejun blinked at him with confusion.

“Xiaojun,” Taeyong said very seriously, “I don’t know if anyone has told you this, and you might need to hear it. You are gay, and that is beautiful.”

Dejun blinked. “Let’s change the subject.” His tone came out much sharper than he was expecting, and it surprised him just as much as it seemed to surprise Taeyong.

Taeyong stared at him for a few long moments, then nodded. “Okay,” He said slowly. “But I’m still proud of you.”

Dejun swallowed. “...Thank you.”

Taeyong beamed at him, and Dejun couldn’t help but smile back a little.

“Okay?” Taeyong asked.

“Okay,” Dejun said.

Taeyong giggled and took another swig of water. Then he hopped out of bed and held his hand out for Dejun to take.

“Come on, let’s go take a shower.”

“Wh-- Together?”

Taeyong just smiled and wiggled his hand, and Dejun had no choice but to accept. Dejun was coming to realize how persuasive Taeyong could be.

Dejun quickly threw on his boxers before they left the room, just in case they ran into anyone on the way out, and grabbed a change of clothes from his closet. His skin prickled with a new kind of excitement as the two of them, hand in hand, made their way to the bathroom.

* * *

  
  
  


Dejun emerged from the hallway into the living room and collapsed onto the couch beside Yangyang. He sat there quietly for a bit, until he became aware of how disturbingly silent the room was. He glanced up to see Yangyang staring at him as if he had the world’s biggest spider on his face, and Dejun grimaced.

“Shut up,” He grumbled, fumbling for the TV remote to get some sort of distraction from Yangyang’s ogling. “He left about an hour ago, by the way.”

“You actually did it,” Yangyang said, mystified.

Dejun glanced at him. “Yeah, I did.”

“I can’t believe it. After your miserable performance in the living room, I thought for sure he’d block your number and never talk to you again.”

Dejun groaned. “Come on, dude.”

“How the hell…”

Dejun snorted. “It wasn’t that hard. I guess I’m just…” He leaned back on the couch in an ironic peacock display. “...So irresistible.”

Yangyang shook his head. “What kinds of things did you do? Did he rail you?”

Dejun deflated slightly. “No.”

“ _You_ railed _him_?”

“No, there was no railing. But it was still good.”

“Oh, wow.”

Yangyang fell into a mystified silence. It seemed like the conversation was coming to an end already, which made Dejun squirm.

“Uh,” Dejun said hesitantly, “He sucked me off.”

Yangyang gasped, ridiculously dramatic. “I bet he’s really good.”

“And then I sucked him off. In the shower afterwards.”

Yangyang held up a hand between their faces. “Okay, stop. I don’t want that image in my mind.”

Dejun snorted. “Fine.”

Yangyang crossed his arms and reclined in his seat, considering all this information. “I can’t believe you actually did it with Taeyong. Did you do anything other than, uh… Sucking?”

Dejun flushed. “Yeah, uh… Some ass stuff.”

Yangyang’s eyebrows jumped. “On you?”

Dejun nodded.

Yangyang pursed his lips. “Good for you, man.”

“Thanks,” Dejun said dryly.

They fell silent for a while, Dejun’s mind churning. Then he sat up very suddenly and turned to Yangyang.

“Yangyang, I need to tell you something.”

Yangyang blinked at him, eyes wide. “Yeah?”

Dejun swallowed.

“I think I’m gay.”

**Author's Note:**

> pls give me feedback, it keeps me motivated! tysm for reading <3


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